Friday, November 6, 2015

Like an old shoe

who's sorry now




It was so exhausting, trying to figure out where everything was. The rooms were in the opposite directions. Mae moved in with Ben and Taylor was at her place. There was an extra bedroom now. Still Mae felt as if her head wasn't screwed on right.

She had trouble sleeping. Even when Caden was in the room with her. Now he wasn't and she felt completely devastated. He was only in a room away.

"God," she sighed in a whisper breath. "Get your act together." She sat in the middle of her bed in a puddle of blankets. Finally, she fell back against the fortress of pillows and stared at the ceiling, listening to sleep, in the silence. But her mind was on instant replay.

"What do you mean! You, kept having sex with my son!"

Mae squinted hard as if Ben's mother would bellow for an eternity when it was just the two of them at his mother's house on Halloween. It just wasn't feasible that her son would do such a thing. Especially, at school. During Lunch. In the student auditorium. OF ALL PLACES.

Mae did not like bringing this up. Especially, when everyone was out trick or treating. It was just the two of them. Mae and Myra.

One moment Myra would be furious with Mae. Then the doorbell would ring. Instantly, she became the sweetest grandmother on the street.

Honestly, it felt like somebody else's life. Not Mae's when they talked about the past.

"I just needed to do it." Mae hadn't meant to sound so cold. It wasn't like she'd talked Ben in to anything. Then. There was naturally some talk. Not much. She didn't need to explain it. Did she?

"Look, my Mom was in chemo. My sister was..well, so..so depressed. And I guess I was too, but I just didn't show it, not like Sadie." Mae explained to Myra. But now her throat was just as parched as it was during their conversation, while she laid in bed thinking about what she said to Myra. "Then..then..it was just the two of us.My sister and me. And I was so sure, you know, I was going to end up somewhere, without Sadie. I'M SORRY!" Of course, Mae went on to the University after Caden was born.

How many times did she have to say it? Mae was sorry.

You & Me



The bunk beds were new and of course, rather modern. The regular sized bed was below and the single on top. Guess who got top bunk?

Well, it started that way.  Ben was never fond of heights. Neither, was Caden. Actually, there was a fear Caden might fall off the bed...even if there was a guardrail.

Soon things were settle. Nightlight in proper place. New pamper, just for a precaution, along with buttoned up pajamas with feet. And he had his favorite old Teddy Bear named Boo that was once Mae's. But neither of them knew this until Mae told them when they were getting ready for bed.

So it was off to a good start.

Ben heard a noise.

"Dad." Ben thought he was imagining things.

"Dad, are you asleep?"

"Huh?"

"I need you." Caden's little voice was so quaint, yet so haunting. Of course, Ben went to him.

"What's wrong?" He whispered, as if they needed to keep quiet. Mae was probably sleeping.

"I've been thinking." There was nothing babish in Caden's voice.

"About what?"

"Well, you know, there are mommies and daddies. And I see them everywhere." He was serious.

Ben nodded. He sat on the edge of the bed in his flannel pants and Tee that said STRAIGHT OUT OF HOGWARTS.

Caden nodded back.

"Could you be my Dad?" Caden told him his Dad, he was suppose to have, was never home, and he'd told him time and time again, that he didn't want him. Caden thought he was reason why his Mom was the way she was.

"Well..sure." Ben smiled at the notion of being chosen. "But I bet he was only saying that..because..because.."

"I remember..." Caden started.

"We don't have to talk about it right now. I mean, lets think about all that candy you got tonight. Maybe we could have Halloween breakfast for the next couple of Saturdays, before Thanksgiving." Ben shrugged and got in bed with Caden, just to get up again, to get his pillow.

Caden snuggled up to him with Boo between them. Ben laid still, wondering what else Caden would tell him.

Ben smiled slightly as sleep almost crept in. He liked the idea that we all have the capability of being a mom or a dad.

2 comments:

cat eyes & skinny jeans said...

Awww...poor Caden - he's such a sweetheart. And I'm totally crushing on Ben right now!

xx

Launna said...

Poor Mae should be given a break... we all make mistakes and deserve to be forgiven