maybe its just another dream

Nadine, thought she remembered, Joey speaking of Xander, over Christmas. She wasn't sure if she believed him or not. At least, there had been no calls from the police, this past year.

It wasn't like he had a record. He'd never hurt anyone. Usually, it was others hurting him. Or so, when Joey was back home.

Yes, there had always been ups and downs with Joey, who could be so happy and then he wasn't. There seemed to be two speeds of him, high and low. She guessed that's where the ganja came in.

Joey was certain it kept him level headed. And as long as she didn't ask and he never said, well..she thought they were both better off.

She watched Xander scurry around. He even cleaned the entire fridge in a matter of minutes.

"You, must be tired by now." She at least made some coffee.

"I've ..kind of been up all night." He sighed and told her the neighbor baby news. "And then, her..her boyfriend was having this seizure. Thankfully, my boyfriend was around." Xander nodded.

Nadine pressed a smile, even if she'd hoped against hope..maybe someone like Xander could save her Joey.

"So what do you want to know?" She asked, once they got settled.

"Oh..I dunno. I mean, I know..he was pretty devastated, when..when.. he found out I was gay. Yet, all along..I kind of thought.." Xander sighed. "Anyway, I tried my best to be his friend. And..I thought we were, but then I got to thinking, maybe..maybe I was an enabler or something, and my step-mom and dad were having some troubles. I..I just didn't have time-"

"Its not your fault." Nadine told him. She cradled her slightly cracked coffee cup. She watched the traces of coffee circle the bottom of the cup. "He..he has his bouts."

"Was? Was there even a Becca?" Xander wanted to know.

"Its hard to say. He always seems to find a new name, a new someone." Nadine winced. "Maybe..maybe its just some sort of grief, that he can't let go." She sighed, wishing she could somehow make it right. "When he was..I guess 17, his girlfriend was pregnant. He was so laid back about it. First, he didn't believe her. I guess..he was angry. Anyway, he wouldn't  have anything to do with the the whole pregnancy..." Somehow, Nadine couldn't tell Xander the rest.