Thursday, July 14, 2016

don't you know

don't you know




"So... was sex better with an imaginary lover?" Darius smiled at Joey as he held up his hand to his mouth as if he might be smoking an imaginary cigarette. Darius was one of many in the therapy group. Most were there because of drug addiction, but a few like Darius had anger issues.

Joey was closed mouth.

The group leader, Patty shot Darius a look, to shut up.

Still Darius smile was open.

Joey could see, if he made the wrong move, Darius might pounce him. After all, he could have been a line backer for the NFL, if he'd only lasted the college season.

"I don't..remember." It was all a haze. Still, if Joey wasn't in the state of nothingness, what would he be doing right now? "Its not like..like..I wanted it to happen." He pressed his lips tight. Thinking this was all quite ridiculous, but it was his life they were talking about.

But..NOW..what was he suppose to do?

He'd heard he was getting better. Obviously, he wasn't seeing anything but the white walls of his room. When he did go out in the garden, it was slow and short walks, to watch the bees at work.

Joey didn't have a job.

If...

If he set through this, and did what was asked of him, they'd send him to a half-way house, for his last days of recovery, which would not be in this facility.

It was a scary thought, he'd be living with criminals in an old grocery store.

Suddenly, he was overwhelmed with grief.

He remembered when he was back in high school and his friend Larry overdosed on something in his mother's medicine cabinet. He'd been practically a walking zombie, the last time Joey saw him.

Now, Joey wondered what everyone would think.... when THEY saw him.

Larry was always lost. He couldn't remember anyone, but Joey. But Joey couldn't talk about that.

Faintly, he knew he must becoming Larry.

He'd forgotten about Chelsea too. No, he didn't even remember the sex.

But Darius snickered, as if he might be the watch dog, watching Joey.

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