Friday, July 22, 2016

the in between of day and night

in between night and day

The last few weeks were full of joy, yet sleepless nights, and aching parts of Josie's body that she forgot could ache so. It was the best of times and the worst of times. Truly, a whole new meaning, she'd found in that phrase.

Josie couldn't put Allie down.

"But you'll make yourself sick." Henry told her. "You, have to let her sleep by herself."

"I know." It was the same old conversation. She knew what she should do. But did he know how long it took to get her to breast-feed?

It didn't seem possible, at first. Allie wanted a bottle. Henry told her that was OK. But Josie didn't think so. She just wasn't a real mother. A real mother breast fed.

"Well, I don't know where she heard that from," Josie overheard her mom and Henry talking about the situation the first day Allie was home.

Yes, she'd been up plenty of nights with Allie, already. And Josie was afraid Allie didn't like her.

There had been bitter tears. Of course, it was only the two of them when she broke down, that way. Still, Henry was afraid to leave her alone. He couldn't stay home, the full six weeks, but at least a few.

So maybe the morning she woke up with Allie latched to her breast was a wakeup call.

"You're no more than a pacifier to her!" Henry snapped.

"Shh..she's finally sleeping." Josie scolded back.

"Are you telling me, you'll be feeding her. when she four years old!" He took the baby from her. Of course, Allie fussed.

He left Josie in a pout and went to change Allie's diaper.

Honestly, Josie might have been a walking zombie. He told her she should take a shower while he was changing Allie.

She slowly got up, and felt ever so dizzy. She plopped back on the bed, almost laying down, but she knew she should try, so she got up, but this time, hit her head on the door frame of the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" His voice wasn't nearly as calm as it usually was.

"I'm taking a shower." She winced.

Allie was calming down. He put her in her crib, a place Josie would never think to put her.

"Do I have to call your mom?" He looked at her as if she better get it together.

"No." She quickly told him.

"I'll make some oatmeal." It was morning. "And you need some coffee."

"No." She swelled a frown, her whole diet was centered around Allie. Although, there was no time to eat, but the protein bars.

"You, love coffee. You know it keeps you going." He went on ahead of her and turned on the shower.

"How about you go to the coffee shop, with Allie?" He said it wouldn't be too hard. "You can't..just.."

She waited for him to finish his sentence, but he left her to the hot water running. It was time to get going.


cat eyes & skinny jeans said...

I do hope Josie's okay.


Launna said...

Oh those first few weeks home with the baby is so overwhelming, Josie needs to take a little time for herself whenever she can...