Monday, February 20, 2017

six long years

six long years

Geo couldn't get back to sleep. He hadn't thought about Dora in ages. How long had it been?

All he had was a second pillow to hug for comfort, but it didn't do much good.

The harsh fact remained, he could never get that night back. And it took him a very long time to realize she didn't remember him. And yet he knew her, so well.

Dora was his sister's best friend. She was always finding trouble. It was crazy. They were even friends. But Alma did Dora's math homework, and she was always there when Dora needed a shoulder to cry on. And Dora did have tendencies to be a drama queen.

But wasn't he over that life now? He thought he had forgot about her. God knows, he'd never ever tell his big sister that he'd had s e x with her best friend.

Still, the past was like a lump in his throat that left him a little sick. He wondered now,  who he felt the sadness for.

Was it really for Dora, who had no memory of it...

Or for himself? It wasn't exactly a night in heaven.

It was just crazy. He wanted to tell himself now. How did it get that far? Like a scar that bruised easily, he covered it up the best he could.

After all, did he ever make mistakes?

So much of himself was a mystery. He wasn't Alma's biological brother, and his mother was lonely.

She'd told him once, she needed them to make her happy. But sometimes, he imagined now he would have been better off... if he'd been a stuffed animal left on a shelf.

He was too lifely for her. He did get a lot of punishments. Still bad attention was better than no attention, at all.  If only they'd stayed in Ontario, but she went off with a stranger and they ended up in the mid-west.

Yet he'd always been an outsider. He always would be.

Geo knew his sister would always think he was a taker. Maybe he was, but he'd given up something to Dora, and he hated her more than he wanted to admit.

Still, he thought it was normal. This he was used too.


cat eyes & skinny jeans said...

Geo is always full of so much turmoil. :/


Launna said...

I don't think he really hates Dora, I think he's super disappointed that she doesn't seem to remember him...

The Purple Assassin. said...

Aren't we our little stories?

Great blog! Feels good to have found you.