where do the good go?

Brian couldn't speak. He hadn't spoken since he saw Ivy asleep in Jay's arms.

He squinted, thinking how could he? Why hadn't he screamed? Why hadn't he killed someone?

No, he'd taken baby Keanu from his crib, who was wide awake and standing so patiently waiting to leave with him.

The baby was barefoot. Brian hadn't thought of diapers or bottles. He wrapped him in his favorite blanket and came here, on autopilot.

"Brian, what happened?" Bom kept looking at him as if he might be wounded. He must have been a terrible state, he guessed.

Brian kept shaking his head, wondering how he could be so calm. He was so angry, but in shock.

He held his stomach tight and went straight to the bathroom not only to throw up but to shit, as well.

He was crying. It was as if his insides had fallen out. Maybe he really was falling apart. Still, he could here Keanu in the background as if he was having a wonderful time at his friend's house.

Brian reached for a towel and started to wipe the mess he'd left on the floor. He kept weeping even in the smell of sickness smelled a lot like poison.

At least his head wasn't throbbing anymore. Perhaps he'd been sick all along. Maybe even delusional.

Didn't matter now. He had his son. That was all he needed. He wasn't giving him back.

"Brian, tell me? What's going on?" It sounded like a plead from the other side of the door.

"Just be quiet," he did the best to say in a hushed whisper. They were in an apartment building. Someone might notice.

Brian went on to do his best to get the mess in the trash. He looked for some sort of cleaner. There was only some cheap anti-bacteria mouth wash. He poured in in the toilet and on the floor, even in the sink. It was minty fresh. He breathed it in as if it might cleanse his soul.

Brian finally took a shower as if maybe there had a been a killing he'd forgotten about. Although, he hadn't touched either of them. He's sneaked off with the baby and came straight here.

By the time he got back to Bom in the clean gray tee and some sweat pants, she had hot tea waiting for him.

"Are you really OK?" Her words hung over him as if he said anything it would not be true.

He nodded, but he was not fine. Nothing was fine. He started to cry, again while Bom held Keanu who was nestled next to her bosom as if he knew more about women than his dad did.

"I dunno why she would do this," he started as if he was coming undone. It felt as if his words were melting. "She was all I ever wanted. All I ever needed. Why? Why is this happening," he went into a bout how he was trying his best to keep them afloat. He was working everyday, most days late hours too. "I never get to see Keanu anymore."

Still, he could see Bom wanted to know what happened. Finally, he blubbered the words he'd seen Ivy with Jay, in bed asleep.

"Oh," Bom sounded as if she might be coming down with something too. But she looked away at Keanu as if she was here for the baby. No matter what.

"Look, you take the bed tonight," she told him she would take Keanu with her. There was someone she knew across the hall who might have some disposable diapers and a sippy cup. It was as if she was ready to stay up all night with his boy. "Get some rest."

She gave him some water and something for a simple headache.

"You, can tell me everything tomorrow," Bom said as she got up with the baby.

Brian knew he didn't want too.