if by chance there is thunder

When Ivy awoke, she wondered why she wasn't dead already. It had been a hell of a week or so. Actually, she'd lost track of the days. Maybe it was just as well since the only thing she could be happy about these days was when she got a bottle of water.

She was doubting she could go on. She told herself not to remember. It was best that way. After all, she was exhausted and unsure of anything. For all she knew, Jay was somewhere underground in a cage.

Lenny was good at telling her stories. Horror stories. He took pleasure in it. And she'd stopped asking a while ago why was this happening to her?

She put up a good fight, now again, but he was stronger and she let him win. Her mind drifted sometimes, of better times. But she never thought of Brian because she knew he wasn't thinking of her and yet he was Keanu's father and she wept from time to time that she'd given up too easily on Brian. But he had Bom now and Ivy found slight comfort in the thought that Bom was taking care of Keanu.

Ivy guessed she slept, thinking she might be a cat basking in the sun as the hot wind came like the ocean. She knew she was slowly dying and maybe the existence of Jay that was in her was withering into dust.

It didn't look feasible to get out of this desolate location. No one was coming for her, and god knows what Lenny had planned. More misery she guessed.

Ever so often Lenny's right-hand man showed up. Their voices were low and they spoke outside while she was tied to the bed. If only she had a plan, but she couldn't think straight. It felt as if she'd lost all her strength.

And then when it was the night it would start over again. Fresh bruises, her teeth bleeding from gritting so hard hoping it wouldn't happen again, but of course it did.

She could tell he thought he was the best lover. That laugh of his was obnoxious. It was enough. She planned to slash his throat with her big toe.