let it go

 

"I was afraid you couldn't have kids," Ivy said first thing when Bom told her about the pregnancy.

She couldn't be sure if Bom was smiling or not. Bom looked to be out of it, but she'd brought plenty for the newborn with extra disposable diapers and other baby needs.

"Did Brian give you a hard time?" Ivy felt like she was on bedrest. Although, she was up all the time pacing around with the baby who did have a bit of cholic. She didn't remember Keanu this way. 

Of course, he barely noticed the baby. Instead, he was wanting to see what was around to play with. His behavior was changing too, and Ivy felt even more annoyed with herself. She didn't know what he liked.

Bom shook her head, no. But then went to say how hard it might be to have a baby during a pandemic.

"Oh, don't make excuses," Ivy squinted. "I did it."

Bom only sighed and mustered up a smile, yet Ivy could tell she was scared. 

"I know you'll make the best mom," saying this Ivy picked up sleepy Hope who's little fingers sprang out, but she didn't awake. She handed the baby over to Bom.

"Oh, just let her rest," Bom looked at her for a moment and put her back into the bassinet. "I think she looks like you." She then said.

"No she doesn't," Ivy looked at Bom seriously. "She looks just like Jay."

Bom nodded. She asked how Ivy was feeling.

"I'm great," Ivy said a little too enthusiastic. "How about you?"

"Not bad," Bom said she'd thrown up once. That was why she'd taken the pregnancy test. She then went on to say Keanu threw up when he saw her throwing up. "I was afraid we were all sick."

Ivy tried to keep smiling. Although, she didn't like the story much. To her, it seemed her son loved Bom more and knew her so much better than he actually knew Ivy. It hurt to know this truth. But she wouldn't let herself cry about it. After all, this was all her doing. Yet she found herself imagining what her life might be like if she'd stayed with Brian. It would have been boring and this past year she'd had way more excitement than she ever bargained for.