Hello May

 

Jen couldn't help but squirm when she listened to Em talk about being in labor. It gave her the shivers, but she'd asked for it. She couldn't remember with Amy. It was so long ago. Quite different from what she saw at the hospital with Em.

Of course, Jen was all alone then because she chose to. She didn't want Stan to be there for any of it. 

Truth be told, she didn't want him to see her at her worst. She guessed. But she made it sound that this was her baby and he was out of the picture. Still, his insurance paid for the delivery even if she told him not to. Naturally, he'd said, "It's already done."

She knew he thought he'd be in trouble if he didn't. She guessed. Oh, she didn't want to think about it. And here they were, doing it all over again, fourteen years later. 

"How did your legs do it?" Jen winced hard. "They actually made you stand up to deliver the baby?"

"Something about gravity," Em just shrugged as she mentioned there was a team to help her stay up. She was nursing the baby in the rocking chair. It was best to set a schedule and it was working with Rory. Jen hadn't heard the baby make a sound which Jen said was crazy. Amy cried all the time.

Em assured her the baby cried.

Jen sighed. "I couldn't handle it," she finally confessed. "Stan has so much more patience than I do." She scowled as if she knew she was the worst mother.

"I'm sure you learned a lot after having Amy," Em smiled as if it was only natural.

"No I didn't," Jen felt sad about it. "But I'm determined it'll be better this time."

"So what does Amy think about having a baby brother?"

"She doesn't say," Jen shrugged.

"But Stan said you two were doing more things together," Em reminded her.

"Only when we are all together."

Jen was straight-lipped. Oh, she wasn't used to pregnancy. She felt like a fat cow. 

"I wish I could tell you something you want to hear," Em changed sides then with the nursing baby. "I know I felt bad about, putting Axton through this. It was a guilt trip. I can't deny that. I mean, it was complicated. I always wanted to be Yuki, but there are a lot of things to learn about love. I finally let myself embrace being pregnant. And sometimes," she couldn't help but smile. "Being pregnant might be the only thing I'm good at."

"Oh, Em," Jen told her she was the best mom she'd ever seen.

"Well, you can be too. Be the listener Amy needs," Em nodded. "You can get through this if you'll just let yourself."