This was the first day it felt in weeks that Eric had felt like eating. He was cramming bean and ham soup in his mouth while watching the cat stare at him.
Perhaps he was still in a daze. He had not looked for Ellie that night. He'd left it alone. So alone. He thought he might have gone deaf that night, anyhow. Just watching Olivia's mouth move. Wishing for something that was there, but possibly wasn't. No, he hadn't chanced it. He didn't know if he could do it, anyhow. Perhaps it was best to think of her for someone else. Someone who totally deserved someone so amazing as Olivia. It might spoil their friendship. He guessed.
There were so many things that spun around in his head. He was not the one. He couldn't be.
But she'd kissed him on the cheek anyway, when he brought her home and said good night to her. He thought his chest might cave in that night when he got back home, trying to think it through.
Eric had ended up walking the streets in the cold hoping something would come more clear to him, but he'd ended up with bronchitis instead. He supposed he deserved as much. Just one more way not speak with Ellie.
Anyway, there were more important things to worry about. It was just as well to wait. Ellie needed to be there for Amanda, and it was good to see she'd been there. In the end he'd felt there was nothing more to say. Just to let it go.
He hadn't exactly chatted with Olivia, either. Perhaps time would heal everything. But it didn't feel that way. Not right now when he watched the fat cat close her eyes. Almost of sleep and yet she waited for a piece of bread. Some nibble.
Eric had just gotten off the phone with his Dad. Things weren't great with him, either. He'd lost his job.
"I'm so sorry, Dad. Really." He told him he didn't need any funds from him. "You keep what ever you have. I insist. I'll be just fine." Then his dad told him he was on antidepressants. Naturally, Eric had grimaced thinking he'd soon be on them too. And they could call each other just to talk about their side effects. Fortunately, his Dad's love life was just amazing. They still wanted to get married this summer.
"How's Ellie?"
"Fine." That was all he could manage. "Everything is fine."
Eric closed his eyes then. He knew it wasn't true. It could never be true, again. And that's when he heard a knock on his apartment door.
Perhaps he was still in a daze. He had not looked for Ellie that night. He'd left it alone. So alone. He thought he might have gone deaf that night, anyhow. Just watching Olivia's mouth move. Wishing for something that was there, but possibly wasn't. No, he hadn't chanced it. He didn't know if he could do it, anyhow. Perhaps it was best to think of her for someone else. Someone who totally deserved someone so amazing as Olivia. It might spoil their friendship. He guessed.
There were so many things that spun around in his head. He was not the one. He couldn't be.
But she'd kissed him on the cheek anyway, when he brought her home and said good night to her. He thought his chest might cave in that night when he got back home, trying to think it through.
Eric had ended up walking the streets in the cold hoping something would come more clear to him, but he'd ended up with bronchitis instead. He supposed he deserved as much. Just one more way not speak with Ellie.
Anyway, there were more important things to worry about. It was just as well to wait. Ellie needed to be there for Amanda, and it was good to see she'd been there. In the end he'd felt there was nothing more to say. Just to let it go.
He hadn't exactly chatted with Olivia, either. Perhaps time would heal everything. But it didn't feel that way. Not right now when he watched the fat cat close her eyes. Almost of sleep and yet she waited for a piece of bread. Some nibble.
Eric had just gotten off the phone with his Dad. Things weren't great with him, either. He'd lost his job.
"I'm so sorry, Dad. Really." He told him he didn't need any funds from him. "You keep what ever you have. I insist. I'll be just fine." Then his dad told him he was on antidepressants. Naturally, Eric had grimaced thinking he'd soon be on them too. And they could call each other just to talk about their side effects. Fortunately, his Dad's love life was just amazing. They still wanted to get married this summer.
"How's Ellie?"
"Fine." That was all he could manage. "Everything is fine."
Eric closed his eyes then. He knew it wasn't true. It could never be true, again. And that's when he heard a knock on his apartment door.
Hi there-hope Eric doesn't get too stressed out, he has a lot of things going on.
ReplyDeleteYour street again? It looks really cool! I see the snow has melted now.. Maybe spring will arrive soon? Here the sun is shining today, but it still is cold.
ReplyDeleteOh, how good that Eric is eating again. I admit I was getting worried about him... He always lets his emotions affect his physical state, or at least it seems so to me.
But I haven't understood yet what it is that Eric wants from Olivia - does he want friendship, or something more?
He has to stop thinking that he is "not worthy".
I think it's nice that Eric's having a good relationship with his father now, though.
...I wonder who that might be, knocking... I can't wait for the next chapter!
Poor Eric. Glad he's talking with his dad.
ReplyDeleteHe's going through so much. I love his character.
ReplyDelete