a close call

Kevin wanted to close his eyes..and sleep..but he was wide awake.

He wasn't so sure he liked it at Xander's parents house. He felt more out of place. Sort of. 

At first, he was glad they'd taken him in. It was an upscale house. Christmas was predictable with monotonous Christmas carols through the sound system of the house. There was even Alexus or whoever the hell she was on the speaker answering trivia or getting the grocery list read to be delivered from the local Wal-mart or Amazon.

He still didn't understand why Xander didn't live here. But he'd taken it in stride, Christmas morning. Breakfast was cozy yet more formal than at Xander's house. 

All those kids. He didn't know how to act around kids. Although, that Dakota might as well have been an old woman in little girl's body. He knew she was watching him, as if he was her own mystery to figure out. But now there was Simon's half brother who was texting his girlfriend constantly, and Kevin guessed Simon might be oblivious to his parents' mood.

Kevin suspected early on, they weren't getting along. Maybe it was the body language. She kept telling him to call her Tessa, but it didn't really feel right.

At least, he spent the evening back at Xander's. There was dinner which was quite a feast. He wasn't there for Christmas presents, and he was a little hurt about it. He didn't mean to be a kid, but when it came to Christmas, he was.

Xander pulled out a bag presents for him. Some were homemade, but mostly practically items, like a scarf, a winter hat and socks and some candy. Still, he wasn't sure if he hated Xander or wished he could be more like him.

And yes.. he felt so alone.

He shut his eyes tight. His teeth clenched. 

Why had he let it happen?

It felt like a drug when he thought about it, but he'd let Xander's step-mother in his room that night. What was once warm and endearing, now felt like a cold chunk of reality. Now it was just a headache that wasn't going to go away, anytime soon. 

He'd never been in a situation like this before. And it was stressing him out. 

He had no idea if he was any good at acting like he didn't care. He sat up, thinking most everyone thought of him as an ass, anyway. Still, he felt a little robotic, wondering if any of this was out of revenge. 

Kevin couldn't let himself think this way. Maybe it was time to go home, but he didn't have a home to go home too, anymore.

After what seemed an endless education.. to live in a cooperate world, he hadn't married the woman his father wanted him too..so he'd been expendable, after all.