here goes

Sal didn't know where to start. The reality was she was not perfect. She never had been. But the more she tried not to think about her past, it always came to haunt her.

Here she was alone. Finally, with the only friend, she could count on and she couldn't say a thing to Char. She pressed her lips tight as she stared at the iced lemonade.

"I don't want you...to hate me." She felt her voice crack and the tears weren't far from surfacing. She sighed.

"How could I hate you?" Char smiled reaching for Sal's hand, but she pulled it away.

Sal cleared her throat as if she was ready to fall off a cliff of her mental mind. "I..I had an abortion, a few years back." She stopped, not sure to go on. "My..my mom knew, it felt like the right thing to do and so..it happened, but then I..I changed, too." She felt uneasy about the truth. She still didn't know why she did the things she did. "I-I tried to have more fun." She was even lipped but went on to say. "And..and I did."

"Just..don't try to go there, now. Don't beat yourself up about the past," Char promised Sal that she was a good mom. She was OK now.

Sal shook her head no. She felt she'd meant to get pregnant all along.

"I met..this guy, before..before Micah." She admitted. "He said he never wanted kids." She took a breath, but she couldn't stop the anguish coming over her. She thought she might stop breathing. "That's..that's why I..I said the baby was Micah's." She shook her head, no. As if she'd played a sick game and suddenly became the loser by default. "I don't want Micah to hate me too." She blurted. She knew he didn't like being a dad, either.

"It's not too late." Char looked at her blankly. "I mean, I dunno if I would have done anything differently. I can't judge you." Char went on to say she wanted kids too, but it was too expensive to even think of wanting a baby. "Sorry, didn't mean to talk about me." She gathered Sal's hands. "Just let the is guy know, what happened. He needs to know."

Sal nodded, but it felt like an obstacle she couldn't get through on her own.

"Will you help me, be there..when..when we talk?" Sal wanted to know.

Char nodded, she said it was the least she could do.