there's something about Lenny

Ivy couldn't shake this feeling. She was going to hell in a handbasket. Evidently.

Yes, the last few weeks were insane, physically and mentally. There was a lot to get used too, living in Jay's apartment over a detached garage that he couldn't even park his truck in.

Her mom cut her off. No phone. No money. Nada. Neither her mother nor Brian would let her see the baby.

She worked every night at the old town diner, but even then only truckers came through. It was not enough, she knew.

But Jay said nothing of the matter. He stood by her, no matter what. Sure, he kissed her troubles away and usually, that went too far, to send her into anxieties of mixed bliss and anguish.

Maybe, he was a good lover. Or she needed to believe it if she was going to get through this withdrawal.

Yes, there were moments she wanted to cut herself and bleed herself dry of her woes. It was a painful picture. She never ever thought she'd have this fear, but she did now. She missed her little one that much and hated Brian all the more. Her mother too.

What had she done to deserve this?

And then one night she caught the news. It might have been early morning. Somehow, they got Cable from the neighbors, or perhaps Jay was nifty that way.

"Something is going on," Ivy looked at Jay as if he needed to know. The deaths in China and Italy were now here.

Ivy felt faint. She was so weak. She was certain she was already coming down with something.

Later, the diner called. They wouldn't need her for a while. No one was dining in. There might be strict laws about it. People needed to stay home.

The next thing she knew, Jay's friend was over from the Rez.

"His name is Lenny," Jay told her Lenny found some work for him. It would mainly be day trips, some driving.

Ivy didn't know what to think. It was as if an alarm went off in her silence. She just knew this Lenny was a very bad thing.

"Are you really sure, you should be doing this?" She asked him later when they were alone and Jay thought she might need something else from him. Like a good cuddle that would turn into something cozy and dreamy, as it always did.

"I got to keep us going, Babe." The way he said it was like she was second nature to him. It was as if she was the only thing that kept him alive. "It'll be OK." He assured her he'd known Lenny since he was in grade school. "He's not going to let anything happen to me."

Ivy wanted to believe it, but instead, she went to the bathroom and regurgitated. She could barely think.

If only she knew how to pray, she would about now.