it's very sad now

Nothing...pretty much phased Steve. Or so it seemed..until now.

He stuck his hand up before Simon could kiss him. He could still sense the damp kiss even now.

"See, it's not anything," it was all Steve could think to say. Perhaps his stupid grin just kept grinning.

He shook the thought now, grabbing spicy sauce for his ribs at the barbecue place that was finally opened for dine-in. Thank God, his old roommate could meet up with him.

After all, it was hard to be calm after such a frenzy. Steve didn't know what to think. At least, he'd managed to call Simon's brother to come over. He didn't know how to tell him he thought Simon was suicidal.

"I didn't see that coming," Steve didn't want to worry about Simon. It was enough to worry about himself these days. After all, he's spent a good portion of his life in special education. Until he got the right meds to help with his anger issues and other weird ticks. He'd lived with people who had serious problems, and they all thought he was the normal one.

Maybe he was. Maybe it was good he didn't become an elementary teacher after all. He was doing well enough with his part-time job at the library. Not exactly what his folks had in mind when he got a job in library science, but he had his own Sci-Fi book club now which was mostly about graphic novels. And if the library actually opened to the public then maybe he could actually hold a meeting, again.

"Oh, I thought you knew everything," Alfie just smiled and dug into the potato salad.

"Not this time," Steve explained that he liked gaming with Simon. "We should just stick to online stuff." No way was he ever going back to Simon's place. It was awful filthy and Steve was a clean freak by nature. Except at the moment. He did love a good pork rib.

"Don't do that," Alfie winced. "You have to be a good friend. I know you are a good friend."

Steve looked at his old roommate as if he must be crazy. He just didn't think it would work. "I don't want a boyfriend."

Alfie almost choked on his iced tea. He laughed.

"Have you ever dated?" Alfie asked.

"You're one to talk," Steve scowled as he reached for more paper towels to clean the sauce from his face. He wanted to say, "You just sleep with random girls..." but he wouldn't say it aloud in public nor hurt his fragile friend who only wanted a phone call from the girl he left for Denmark.

"What did you do in Denmark, anyway?" Steve sensed Alfie matured some. His dark hair was longer, maybe curlier than he remembered, but he looked sad, too. Way too sad.

"I stayed with my grandmother, until she forgot me," he told Steve that she even forgot to swallow.

Steve cleared his throat. He'd heard enough. He was losing his appetite. Still, he knew his friend must have been the best grandson in the world. Steve was certain he couldn't have managed that.